If you have a date planned with a girl at 3pm, and she calls you at noon saying she can still make it, but she’s hanging out with an old friend and wants to catch up with her…she might ask you if it’s okay if you two meet at 6pm instead. She might even make it sound like a good idea, by saying how she’s been telling her friend how much fun you two had on your first date, and how her friend thinks you’re cool and wants to double date with you sometime. Your first response as a nice guy will properly be:
“That’s totally cool, hang out with your friend, and we’ll meet at six, I understand”
But you’d be wrong if you did. It seems harmless at first right? But now she senses weakness in you, and will start pushing your boundries as far as they go. You might get a call at 4pm from her saying that she needs to drive seperately to your friends bbq because she needs to go to an audition after. You might think, “Oh well, better than nothing.” And agree to drive two cars…
But then you’ll get this message 30 minutes later:
“I have good news and bad news, I bought you a gift to bring to your friends bbq, but the bad news is I can’t go. But you can come over for an hour to hang out and pick up the gift.”
You might think, “This kind of sucks, but at least I get to see her for an hour.” And you might agree and start driving there.
But as you’re driving half way there, you’ll get a text saying that she’s really sorry, and that she has to leave now because her aunt is picking her up to take her there. By now, you would have pulled over thinking to yourself, wtf just happened. Did she just play me? So you’ll get angry and finally speak up, you’ll send her a text saying how dissapointed you are in her. But it’ll be too late.
Now she’ll just get mad at you saying that you’re not understanding, and that this is very important for her to meet so and so for her career. Now you’re the bad guy. To make things worse, you might even text her back saying that it’s okay, and that you understand it’s important to her, and that you’re sorry for getting mad.
Instead, stop being fucking nice. Stop giving a shit about what the other person has going on because she doesn’t give a shit about you. She doesn’t care that you wasted your entire day sitting around. Or that you went out of your way to make plans. If anything, she’ll just think you’re weak.
Don’t be weak. Take away the girl’s power from the start.
First off, realize, she hasn’t earned the right yet for you to care. If she’s not your girlfriend, and especially if you havnt’ slept with her yet, she’s no one to you. She’s not special. She’s just another girl, and there are millions out there.
To really not be needy, date multiple girls, sleep with multiple girls until you do meet someone that proves herself to be special and worthy. She doesn’t deserve your understanging yet, she doesn’t deserve for you to care. It fucking sucks, I know. This happened to me today. And the only reason why I’m not even more emotionally damanged is because:
A. I have another girl that i’m dating going to the BBQ with me instead.
B. I had sex 4 times with a different girl last wednesday, and got a BJ last night. and
C. I’m using this as a learning experience.
I thought she was different, but I was wrong. I was hoping she was special. I was wrong. But now I know.
If we could rewind to the original converstaion at noon. I would have told her:
“Your friend sounds really cool, I’d love to double date with her sometime, but we have plans sweetie, I’ll pick you up at three, make sure you’re home.”
And I would have just left it at that. None of this bullshit would have happened if I did. It’s just another reminder to never revert back to AFC, not even for a moment, not even for a small town girl that seems “different.”
Never be understanding, and fuck being nice.