It is fantastic to be back in my hometown San Francisco and to go out sarging again. But first I met up with some old friends and learned some valuable things even during lunch, but more on that later. Let’s talk about all the gorgeous women downtown SF! I picked up a buddy of mine from the greyhound stop in Embarcadero and went to a Taco Tuesday. You gotta love the $2 Taco nights. Terrible place to pick up girls though, since it’s so crowded, everyone is hungry and in a bad mood.
But later that night we went to a small lounge/bar/club kind of place near Market st. downtown and it was amazing. I haven’t gone out in San Francisco in almost 10 months and was excited to get back into it. From what I remembered about SF girls was that they were smart, had good personalities but weren’t always the hottest and sometimes would give you random bitch shields for no apparent reason.
Lesson #1: Find a Venue that fits your budget: A lot of guys go to the “hottest” clubs or bars because they thing it’s the best place to be, or at least there will be the hottest girls there. But in fact, that’s not true. Hot clubs are like fads, they come and go all the time and are for a certain type of crowd. Because it’s popular, hard to get into, and sometimes exclusive, guys will act like douchebags, and girls will act like they are hot shit just because they are there. Drinks will be expensive, ranging from $8-$15 and over all most people will be there to be seen and not to drink or have fun.
The hot clubs are the type of places where rockstar game, high roller game, or even better bottle service and a table get you the upper hand. But if that’s not you, it’s hard to be a cool generous guy in that setting. For me personally, if drinks are on special for $2 I’m the most generous guy in the world, buying my friends drinks, and even girl’s drinks sometimes simply because it’s so cheap it’s not a big deal. So for me, I’m a happier guy and have a better time at places with $2 drink specials on a tuesday night, which I found last night through yelp. If you’re comfortable, able to be generous with yourself and your friends, you’ll be more attractive and have more fun.
Lesson #2 – Your State is EVERYTHING: My wingman last night was a tall, in shape, good looking white guy from London that happens to have a great personality. You would think that he would automatically get all the girls but there was one thing wrong, he wasn’t in state. He had just got off a greyhound bus and was coming down from smoking too much weed the past five days. He just wasn’t in the mood to have fun and couldn’t snap out of it. If you aren’t having fun, there is no way you can get the girl to have fun with you. your state comes first.
Lesson #3 – Don’t wear black to a nightclub: I’m not even taking about peacocking here. It’s simpler than that. Don’t wear black. My wing hadn’t done laundry so all he had was a plain black t-shirt, which looked fine at my house and during the day, but all the sudden when we got into the dark nightclub, he faded away and didn’t look like anyone worth talking to or even noticing. If you do decide to wear black, you need to have something colorful or shiny that pops, that’s where the peacocking comes in. Wear a necklace, hat, bracelet or at least have some colorful print or a logo on your shirt. I was wearing a black t-shirt last night as well, but with the help of a few small things, it made me go noticed and gave girls a simple way to approach me or continue the conversation.
Lesson #4 – Open and then Decide: My philosophy is to open first and then decide if I like the girl. A lot of guys will spend time checking out a girl and then deciding if they should approach them. That adds to the creep factor and nervousness of approaching. Just do what I do and open the set as soon as you see it. The worse thing that will happen is you’ll gain some more experience (xp to lvl up your game – heheh) opening and decide later that you want to move on. And the best thing is because you haven’t invested anything or even decided if you like the girl, if she decides to have a random bitch shield, then no harm done and you don’t take it personally and move on. My wing said something very valuable to me last night. “Bro, I’m far past the point where I give a shit if the girl decides to be a bitch.” Are you past that point yet? If you still feel like the girl is rejecting you personally when a set doesn’t open. You have to get past it, force yourself to open 100 more sets and you’ll get over it.
Lesson #5: Push the Sets, Don’t Settle for a Phone Close – A lot of guys are still going out to clubs to get phone numbers. It’s fine to do if you are just starting out and practicing your phone closes, but eventually it stops mattering. Ever wonder why 90% of phone numbers don’t become anything? If you’re spending a lot of time doing phone game, text, game, or just calling girls and not getting a day2, that’s because you didn’t push it far enough when you saw her in person. My new rule is I don’t get a girl’s phone number unless we at least kiss. Doing that has freed up my phone space, and my time. If a girl likes you, she’ll at least kiss you, period. If she doesn’t, you can risk playing her game and chasing her to take her on a date or a day2, which girls love by the way but it’s something that is frustrating and a waste of energy for guys. It’s up to you, do you want to let girls use you, (in this case, the girls that love having guys chase them and shower them with attention) or do you want to be a man and stand your ground. I for one am about honesty with a girl. If she likes me, great, show me and I’ll respond. If you want me to chase you, don’t waste my time, you better find another guy with more on is hands.
Sarging in SF Final Thoughts:
Going out again in San Francisco was awesome. There are hot girls with fun personalities, and for me at least, it was extremely easy to open sets last night and most of them stuck. I’m getting really excited to teach next weekend’s bootcamp here in SF and know it’s going to be a fucking blast.
By the way, the lesson I learned over lunch. I went out with a friend of a friend for lunch, he pulls up in a brand new BMW, and seems like he has his life together, at least financially. He works in IT, makes tons of money and is a really cool guy. However, he started to talk about wanting to take a bootcamp with me because he feels that it’s the only chance he has to hook up with a girl here in America. His story actually reminded me a lot of William’s when he was a bootcamp student. Both of these guys were financially secure, educated, and great guys, both would made great husbands for a lucky girl. But both of them would go to China to try to find a girlfriend. I realized that there are a lot of guys in the same boat.
He also said that reason he wants to do the bootcamp with me and not some other instructor from a bigger school such as Mystery Method or Real Social Dynamics is because I’m Asian and he can identify with me. I understand where he comes from and hope he takes the jump and signs up because I know that if he doesn’t he may end up settling for a girl that he isn’t truly happy with.