Hey guys, it’s been a few months since I had a chance to update my blog but I’ve been busy. I’ve been trying to spend less time online and it’s been great. I didn’t even realize my comments were closed until recently, sorry about that, hopefully it’s fixed now but if not, I’ll get around to it soon.
Anyways so here’s what I learned in the past few months and hopefully you guys can take away something from it as well.
I’ve been with quite a few different girls in my life but I don’t know if I’ve ever really been in love. Even with girls that I was with for over a year and a half I never really loved. But a while back I met a girl that blew my mind. People say when you meet the “right” girl you feel instant chemistry but aside from sexual attraction I never really knew what that was.
But with her, I felt like I truly didn’t give a shit about anyone, or anything else in the world while we were together. It’s like people say, you feel complete. But for me it was more like I felt comfortable, like I could really be me. I could be the silly, dorky, guy that I normally hide under what I try to make as an attractive, alpha male exterior. But what I came to realize is that maybe it was only because I had worked on myself for all of those years that I was finally able to have to confidence to initially talk to this girl, have her be attracted to me, and then be myself.
So for those out there still on the journey. Keep your head up and keep working on yourself and bettering yourself for the right reasons. The only good thing to ever come out from “the game” and being a so called “pick up artist” is that it convinced guys that it is not only possible, but okay to want to improve yourself. Don’t do it to become a famous pick up artist and impress loser guys on forums. Don’t even do it so you can prove to yourself that you are a ladies man, or that you can make up for lost time and get chicks. Improve yourself so you can unlock the confident, attractive man that you are inside, and then gain enough experience so you can be truly comfortable with yourself and then and only then can you be truly comfortable with a girl. It’s cliche, but if you cannot even love yourself, how can you expect any girl to love you?
Steps to Take: I always hated guys that talked about inner-game and being confident and all that shit without telling me as a beginner what steps to take, so here they are.
1. Improve your physical attractiveness while you improve your social skills. It took a long time to become that chubby over weight guy or that lanky skinny guy. It’ll take a few years to change that as well, but the earlier you start working on it the better. Start with the basics, hair cut, shave, contacts, tan, fitting clothes. Then hit the gym. If you’re a skinny, pale Asian guy and get pissed off on why the tall good looking white guys always take your girls, stop getting angry and really look at yourself. Compare what you would look like naked to them and ask yourself who would you rather sleep with. There are some things you can’t change, like height, so accept those and work on the rest. It will make you physically and sexually attractive which is 80% of the game.
2. Work on your social skills and confidence. You need to be able to address a group, approach strangers and start up a conversation if you want to meet desirable women. The best way is to develop a lifestyle where women are around you, such as joining a club, sport, group, or career where there are pretty girls around. I took up scuba diving because I love it, and having pretty girls from all over the world in bikinis arrive on the boat doesn’t hurt either. Join a triathlete team, hiking club, or other outdoors club with women. Or learn the other way and cold-approach. You can do what everyone else does and meet girls at bars and clubs.
3. Don’t be needy or desperate – This is the thing that kills most guys from having a girlfriend. No girl wants a guy that comes off as desperate or trying to get something from them. Girls get offers 100 times a day from guys wanting to sleep with them. Ask your friends that are in relationships how they met. 99% of the time they met through friends, work, or a social gathering such as school or event, and the girl was the one that initiated the sexual attraction. All you have to do is become attractive (not even the hottest guy, just attractive enough), be social enough, put yourself in situations where you meet girls and hang out with them, and then be able to recognize the signs if she is attracted to you, and act on them when she is open to kiss or wants to have sex with you. Girls make the move all the time, but it’s subtle. If you need help building the foundation of your social skills because you never learned it naturally, and you didn’t have a father figure or older brother that taught you these things, the best way to proceed is to take a bootcamp. I firmly believe that the best way to learn any new skill is to take an immersion course with a professional that is paid to teach you. I wasted so much time reading forums, ebooks and trying to do it on my own. Or worse hanging out with wanna be PUAs that was only interested in impressing other guys. I won’t be teaching another bootcamp in the U.S. until the end of June, but if you want some info, just email email@example.com
Good luck in your journey, and let me know how it goes. If the comments still don’t work, you can always add me on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/thejohnnywolf