What if I could tell you that you can meet and date the women of your dreams, and maintain a relationship in as little as four hours a week. Well you can. I was inspired to write this book by my favorite author, Timothy Ferris who wrote the 4-hour workweek, a book about stream lining your life and freeing up time to travel, and enjoy life while you are young. JT, the Asian Playboy encouraged me to write this book as a lot of guys are having these exact problems.
The 4-hour Girlfriend is designed to allow you to meet women, date them, and maintain a relationship while you are on a busy schedule and don’t want to commit the time to dating at the moment. The steps broken down are Meeting women effectively without effort and time to go out, Dating without wasting your time on the phone and with flakes, and Maintaining a relationship after you are together without the mandatory couple nights.
Step 1: Meeting the Women of your Dreams:
If you are single, you may either not have time to go out and meet girls, or you may be wasting precious time with online dating or at the bar or club. There are easier and better ways to manage your time.
Online dating: It is a waste of time. On average women get 50 messages for every 1 a man gets, it may seem like a good use of time since you can do it from your computer at work or at home, but if you add up the amount of hours actually spent browsing profiles and sending out messages you are better off using that time more wisely. Plus the quality of women you will meet online dating is lower than what you really want.
Speed dating: A much better use of time that is under utilized by men. I went to an 8-minute dating event and ended up dating two girls from it. One I dated for 3 months. It’s a good use of time, the women are single and the competition is usually low. If you go right before holidays such as New Years and Valentine’s day your chances of top quality girls are even higher.
Happy Hour: Instead of going out to night clubs and bars, happy hour after work is a better use of your time, and the quality of women are much higher. Think, good looking women with jobs.
Classes and Events: Personally I enjoy meeting girls while I am doing something I want to do anyways, such as hiking, scuba diving, or doing fitness classes. Take a class you’ve always wanted to take anyways whether it is improv comedy, rock climbing, or hot yoga, and meet women there.
Social Circle: This is the bread and butter of meeting girls, instead of going out on the hunt, you are having girls come to you through the connections you’ve built. Think of it as your apple tree bearing fruit. I get into the exact steps of how to build a social circle and how to use it to meet women in detail in the book.
Step 2: Dating on a Time Constraint
The number one biggest waste of time and frustration for guys is setting up dates and having the girl flake. Never put yourself in a situation where you spend half of your day waiting around for a girl that ends up canceling on you. Here are a list of great dates that won’t eat up your time.
Dinner Date - – Don’t do it. This is the biggest waste of time and money for the results it yields. I have surveyed 100 men on their last 10 dinner dates and out of those 1,000 dates, almost none ended up in something worth wild. The reason behind that is that after a big meal, you are bloated and uncomfortable, you had way too much time to let the chemistry die, and it’s just a boring date.
Happy Hour - A much better, low time and money commitment. Having drinks after work has a lower flake rate since the girl usually goes straight from work and doesn’t have time to go home and have something come up or change her mind.
Tea/Coffee/Frozen Yogurt – Similar to the happy hour date. It’s quick, cheap and effective. I’ve even had a friend that would suggest soup dates during winter. Another friend would take girls to the fanciest restaurant in New York but only have dessert.
Social Events – Personally I like to invite girls to things that I am planning to do anyways. I’ll invite girls along with me whenever I have dinner with friends, go hiking, or even to come over for dinner. The difference with cooking for a girl is your results are much higher and since you were going to stay home, work on whatever you needed to do and eat anyways, having her come over isn’t a big deal.
In the book I go into detail on how to set up dates over phone, text, and how to have sex within the first two dates and why you absolutely must do so if you want to make her your girlfriend.
Step 3 – Girlfriend Maintenance
Here’s where a lot of guys end up having problems. You finally get a girlfriend but you are too busy to see her all of the time and more importantly, don’t want to deal with all of the negatives of having a relationship. I used to date a really high maintenance girl that demanded way too much of my time and attention, it was hell. Luckily, I’ve lived and learned and here are some tips. The most important tip is
Every other Day Girlfriend: Don’t do this. When I told my girlfriend that I was busy and couldn’t see her every single day, she tricked me into the “okay, we’ll see each other every other day” lie instead. The problem with this is that you end up seeing each other every day anyways. Imagine if you see each other on Monday, that week you’ll only see each other Wednesday and Friday right? Wrong. You end up spending the night each time and she’ll want to spend the weekend together regardless, so you end up seeing each other Monday night, tuesday morning, Wednesday night, thursday morning, Friday night, and all day Saturday and Sunday.
Weekend Plans: The better way to do it is tell your girlfriend that you are busy during the week with work and that you can only see her on weekends. This ends up freeing up a tremendous amount of time and obligation. If you are seriously busy you can always meet her Saturday night, spend the night and leave after breakfast on Sunday. The trick is to set your schedule early in the relationship and stick to it. I have friends that currently do this with their over wise overbearing girlfriends and it works successfully.
Passionate Sex: The best way to keep your relationship happy without much time commitment is to give her good sex, early and often. Take control and have sex with your girlfriend whenever you strike the mood. Even if you are late to meet with friends to go to dinner, take her and fuck her. Even if she complains saying that she just did her hair and makeup, disregard it and fuck her anyways. This is the key to keeping her happy and not wasting time with foreplay and setting up special nights to have sex.
Phone and Text Maintenance: Unless you enjoy talking on the phone, set it early in the relationship that you don’t have time to answer her calls and her texts every hour on the hour. The trick to this is to always make plans ahead of time so she knows she you two will see each other again and then remind her of it once in a while when you are free. If she calls you in the middle of your workday and you are busy, don’t pick up. Text her when you have time something along the lines of, “Hi honey, sorry I’m busy at work. Looking forward to seeing you Saturday night.”
So now that you’ve read some of the tips and tricks on how to Meet, Date, and Maintain the girl of your dreams on your busy schedule, it’s time for you to tell me what else you want to know. The book is in progress and i’m expanding on all three sections. But I need to know what you are struggling with most, is it step 1, 2 or 3 and what do you want to know?
Step 1: Meeting the girls of your dreams.
Step 2: Dating and Sex
Step 3: Maintaining and keeping the girlfriend happy
*Leave a comment below and I’ll send two of you an advance copy of the 4-hour girlfriend for free when it’s finished.
Warm Regards,
Johnny Wolf
Hi Johnny, I stuggle with steps 1 & 2. Looking foward to you finishing your book.
As always you always came up with great idea. Hope to see your new ebook come out soon Johnny Wolf. Best work PUA at all time
Hi Johnny,
I think this is a really interesting project. Is this the first time the PU community will be teaching guys how to maintain relationships as opposed to just getting into one? Anyways cool stuff and best of luck!
I’d love to read the book when it’s finished, especially the section on social circle building.
When I first opened the email and I saw 4-hour girlfriend, I thought it was going to be something gimmicky like the 7 minute abs scene in ‘Something About Mary’ or another ebook being pushed. But after reading the first paragraph and thinking “Wow, that’s pretty insightful”, I continued to read on and thought “This makes so much sense!”.
I look forward to reading the book in it’s entirety. If what has been written so far is any indicator, it should be well worth the investment in time saved!
Johnny, glad to see you instructing again! This is great gouge – I meet and date tons of women, but I don’t have time for a full-time girlfriend. Once they figure out that they’re not going to have me as a full-time boyfriend, they start getting fussy. So, I’ve struggled with the idea of getting involved with only one woman at a time, and usually juggle 2-3 at a time.
I like the weekend plans strategy – I can work with that, and still have my weeknights available to me. As always, you’ve got great advice to give. Looking forward to reading the book!
Solid. I dig the attention to each scenario. Highly useful information.
Wow great idea man, I like this format very much.
Interesting read~!!!!
Great to hear about your upcoming new e-book. It seems like you’re a huge fan of Tim Ferris and like your 4hour approach to things.
Hi Johnny,
Welcome back to the game! I look forward to reading your book!
Hey Johnny,
Step 3 is my biggest issue at the moment, I see my girlfriend every day, would like to minimise it to twice a week, what is the best way to fix this problem since seeing each everyday has become the norm?
Thanks.
Hey Jon, i really like the content in your email. I would say for me, over the next two years i will be travelling quite often. So, utilizing free time, would be the most important thing, dating has to be in balance with the rest of my plans.
Still…. I’m floating around 1 and 2, nothing more nothing less.
Keep posting, your stuff it’s inspiring.
Take it easy,
Calvin – It’s harder once you two have already established a relationship and she’s used to seeing you every day. But what you can do is set up a romantic weekend with her, something special. If you can, plan to drive somewhere and get a hotel room for Saturday night. Priceline.com is your friend btw.
Once that is planned, tell her that you are really looking forward to seeing her and spending the whole weekend together but you are going to be really busy with _____________ until then. The best excuses are work, school, project, deadline, or if you need to focus on something she knows you’ve been working on anyways such as music, writing, building a website, etc
By having a romantic weekend planned, she won’t get mad, jealous or needy. You’ll have the week to yourself, and at the end of the day, it’ll still cost less money to spend two amazing days together than to have a bunch of mediocre nights out during the week. Good luck and tell me how it goes.
Awesome article Johnny!
Very informative and brilliantly broken down to offer concrete actions steps … that I will use as I need more dates!
Very good website you have here but I was curious about if you knew of any forums that cover
the same topics talked about here? I’d really love to be a part of community where I can get comments from other experienced individuals that share the same interest. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. Cheers!
Hay johnny, I’ve emailed before wanting to know about your list of products and their prices but no one has gotten back to me ? I’ve been watching your 2009 PUA summit video and would love to get the real fully unedited version if possible.
Hey Albert, I put up all of the full length videos for free instead of selling them. http://thesocialsecrets.com/category/videos/
The only product still for sale is http://www.AsianDatingMethod.com
I’ve subscribed to your great newsletter but the first gift takes me to a website, they say something about merging ? Can you help me out ?
One more question, the techniques you talk about in the 2009 PUA summit, are they discussed in the product listed below ?
http://thesocialsecrets.com/category/videos/
Or if not then where can I go to find them ?
Hey Johnny! Great material and I like the Tim Ferris type approach. I found that girls often flake when I wait too long between plans and don’t text them or keep them on the radar. I think a small text ping wouldn’t hurt you, especially if your date is 3-5 dates out a lot can happen in a womans life.
I am not sure where you’re getting your info, but great topic. I needs to spend some time learning much more or understanding more. Thanks for great info I was looking for this information for my mission.
Hey Albert – Merging is a great skill to have when picking up girls in a bar or club setting. Basically, Merging is introducing different sets of girls or groups to each other. It can be as simple as introducing the girl you just met and her friends to your friends or co-workers that you came with.
Or it can be as complicated as going there alone, meeting one group, and then introducing them to another group you just met, thus merging both groups into one.
The benefit of merging is you become the nexus for that social circle. Everyone becomes comfortable, and it’s easier to hook up with the girl you choose.
Wow.. great article. Really looking forward to your book!
Wow! this is a great love guideline for the busy professional. Keep up the good work Johnny!
Cheers!
This is brilliant. I’m super busy all the time and may not be able to go out clubbing constantly. I’m really looking forward to your book.
Cheers
would definitely like a copy, thanks
This is incredible
I’ll enter for the advance copy. There is just not enough hours in the day.
this is very instresting article, i love it , i understand better the importance of dating on a type of different atmosphere , not the one sometimes your not use to , this type of dating can change the way most people can live and build experience and creativity in becoming a better person , good job